- apologizing for everything.
- telling people how much appreciate them.
- telling people how beautiful they are.
- telling you how much i don’t give a fuck, AND REPEAT.
- suddenly overcome with an urge to tell self-deprecating secrets.
- talking about sex.
- assigning duties and responsibilities to those less drunk.
- planning out my future as the housewife of a rich man, who i will cheat on, divorce and rob him of all he’s worth - thus transforming into a full-blown golddigger.
- offering my body to virgin friends in exchange for copious amounts of money.

first you’re like:

and he’s all:

and you’re all:

then she comes in and is all:


and then he’s all:


and you ain’t even mad:

but really you’re all:













